When a birth mother decides to create an adoption plan, she has a lot on her mind. Afterall, an unplanned pregnancy can be a stressful time, turning a mother’s life upside down. So, it is completely understandable to strive for… Read More
I am Dean Kirschner. Why "Libby's Corner?" This blog, actually, all of Adoption Makes Family, is a tribute to my mother who brought adoption to our family in 1956 when my older sister was adopted.
When my mother died in 1967, she left a legacy of love for children that transcended any biological connection. Having been only 8 years old at the time of her death, I do not recall hearing specific words about adoption from my mother. However, through the years, having many conversations with her friends and our family, I have learned so much about my mother's feelings toward children, toward adoption.
Personally, the experience of adoption has been in my life since my own birth. I'm the little brother of an older sister who was adopted at birth. Adoption was never a big deal in our family. We were all treated the same. Biologically conceived by our parents or adopted, there was never a sense for me that we were loved any differently.
I remember at my first home study meeting in preparation to adopt my first son. The social worker asked if I had any personal experience with adoption. My first reaction was a sense of connection. I lived with adoption all my life. I embrace adoption. Now, I am the father of two boys, both adopted.
Every day I realize how much I love my sons. I laugh with my sons. I play with my sons. I parent my sons. Some days there are frustrations. More days, there are fun and joyful times with my sons. Some days, I have had to be a disciplinarian. More days, I am the supporter, the advocate, the fixer, the helper, the confidant, the teacher, the guide, the safety net, the protector. To sum it up, I'm Dad.
My sons are adopted, yet we don't hold that term as a distinction of difference. We celebrate adoption as a means by which I became Dad and they became my children. When I introduce my sons, I introduce them as my sons. Introduce my sister as my sister. The stories of how we became a family are amazingly wonderful. We share our adoption stories proudly. The adoption stories speak to the excitement of becoming a sister, a brother, a son, a grandson, a cousin, a nephew.
I have spoken with my sister and my sons about their feelings about their birth parents and the adoption. No one has forgotten that they were adopted, because adoption is an open conversation in our family. However, there is no angst about adoption. We answer questions honestly and allow complete and open discussions about birth parents and their adoption story. There are no mysteries or secrets. There are stories of love, excitement and family.
As for how we get along as siblings, my sister and I have our disagreements. More often, we have our agreements. We have fought, loved, laughed, played. We are just normal siblings. I don't feel adoption plays into our relationship. We have had wonderful discussions about adoption and birth parents. However, when it comes down to just being brother and sister, we are just that. Brother and sister. My sister has actively reached out and chatted with birth mothers who have created an adoption plan with Adoption Makes Family.
My sons have the same type of relationship. They love like brothers. They fight like brothers. They protect each other and look out for each other. They are not biologically related. They are related through adoption. But, above all, they are brothers.
And so, I turn back to my mother, Libby. I learned from my mother the unconditional love for children. Starting in her own little corner of our family, she shaped me, my sister, my sons and our world. Hopefully, this blog, Libby's Corner, can do the same for you.
Post-Adoption Depression Syndrome (PADS)
Have you heard of Post-Adoption Depression Syndrome? PADS affects somewhere between 10 and 32 percent of adoptive parents, and affects parents of all genders. The time-consuming and arduous nature of the adoption process can be a real rollercoaster for adoptive… Read More
Adjusting to Life as New Parents After Adoption
Becoming a parent for the first time takes some getting used to. “It is also pretty common to be completely overwhelmed by the demands of new motherhood/fatherhood,” says Dawn Davenport. And “settling into parenthood or the ‘postadoption period’ can present… Read More
Dealing With Rude Questions or Comments About My Adopted Child
Unfortunately, as many adoptive parents know all too well, it is often impossible to avoid the occasional rude question concerning your adopted child. Dealing with rude questions comes with the territory. “These negative messages are usually, but not always, unintentional,”… Read More
Weighing Your Options: Foster Care or Adoption
When traditional pregnancy isn’t an option, partners may look to grow their families through other methods, such as surrogacy, foster care, or adoption. In this article, we are going to look at the differences and benefits of two of these… Read More
Saving for Adoption in Maryland. Who Covers Birth Mother Medical Expenses?
Here in Maryland, the average cost of adoption ranges from $20,000 to $50,000, which includes things like the home study, court and legal fees, birth mother medical expenses and legal expenses, and pre-adoption and post-adoption counseling for birth parents. And… Read More
Preparing to Become Adoptive Parents
The decision to become adoptive parents is a beautiful one. Not only have you decided to grow your family, but you are also giving a child a chance at a better life. However, it can also be a stressful experience…. Read More
How Adoptive Parents Benefit from Working with a Local Adoption Agency in Maryland
In previous blogs over the years, we’ve outlined the many benefits birth parents receive from working with a local adoption agency in Maryland, like Adoption Makes Family. However, we haven’t spent much time discussing the benefits adoptive parents receive from… Read More
Benefits of Open Adoption for Birth Parents
The decision to create an adoption plan is one of the toughest choices a mother will ever have to make. But the decisions do not end there. Do you want an open or closed adoption? Do you want to meet… Read More
How to Prepare for an Adoption Home Study
As you probably already know, which is why you’re reading this article, an adoption home study is one of the first steps any hopeful family takes in the adoption process. A social worker will visit the family’s home, interview family… Read More