An adoption home study is one of the first steps any hopeful family takes in the adoption process. Still, despite its importance, there are a lot of common misconceptions surrounding home studies. So, we’re here to help shed a little… Read More
I am Dean Kirschner. Why "Libby's Corner?" This blog, actually, all of Adoption Makes Family, is a tribute to my mother who brought adoption to our family in 1956 when my older sister was adopted.
When my mother died in 1967, she left a legacy of love for children that transcended any biological connection. Having been only 8 years old at the time of her death, I do not recall hearing specific words about adoption from my mother. However, through the years, having many conversations with her friends and our family, I have learned so much about my mother's feelings toward children, toward adoption.
Personally, the experience of adoption has been in my life since my own birth. I'm the little brother of an older sister who was adopted at birth. Adoption was never a big deal in our family. We were all treated the same. Biologically conceived by our parents or adopted, there was never a sense for me that we were loved any differently.
I remember at my first home study meeting in preparation to adopt my first son. The social worker asked if I had any personal experience with adoption. My first reaction was a sense of connection. I lived with adoption all my life. I embrace adoption. Now, I am the father of two boys, both adopted.
Every day I realize how much I love my sons. I laugh with my sons. I play with my sons. I parent my sons. Some days there are frustrations. More days, there are fun and joyful times with my sons. Some days, I have had to be a disciplinarian. More days, I am the supporter, the advocate, the fixer, the helper, the confidant, the teacher, the guide, the safety net, the protector. To sum it up, I'm Dad.
My sons are adopted, yet we don't hold that term as a distinction of difference. We celebrate adoption as a means by which I became Dad and they became my children. When I introduce my sons, I introduce them as my sons. Introduce my sister as my sister. The stories of how we became a family are amazingly wonderful. We share our adoption stories proudly. The adoption stories speak to the excitement of becoming a sister, a brother, a son, a grandson, a cousin, a nephew.
I have spoken with my sister and my sons about their feelings about their birth parents and the adoption. No one has forgotten that they were adopted, because adoption is an open conversation in our family. However, there is no angst about adoption. We answer questions honestly and allow complete and open discussions about birth parents and their adoption story. There are no mysteries or secrets. There are stories of love, excitement and family.
As for how we get along as siblings, my sister and I have our disagreements. More often, we have our agreements. We have fought, loved, laughed, played. We are just normal siblings. I don't feel adoption plays into our relationship. We have had wonderful discussions about adoption and birth parents. However, when it comes down to just being brother and sister, we are just that. Brother and sister. My sister has actively reached out and chatted with birth mothers who have created an adoption plan with Adoption Makes Family.
My sons have the same type of relationship. They love like brothers. They fight like brothers. They protect each other and look out for each other. They are not biologically related. They are related through adoption. But, above all, they are brothers.
And so, I turn back to my mother, Libby. I learned from my mother the unconditional love for children. Starting in her own little corner of our family, she shaped me, my sister, my sons and our world. Hopefully, this blog, Libby's Corner, can do the same for you.
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How to Talk About Birth Parents
There comes a time in every adopted child’s life when they want to know more about where they came from – specifically about their biological or birth parents. “It is natural that they should want to know about them, who… Read More
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What Are My Rights as a Teen Birth Mother?
An unplanned pregnancy can be a scary time for any mother, let alone a teen birth mother. However, it is important to know that you are not alone, says Megan Cohen, adoption attorney and birth mother. 85 percent of all… Read More
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Transracial Adoptions: White Parents Raising Black Children
Today, more than 40 percent of adoptions are transracial adoptions – up from 28 percent in 2004, according to a survey conducted by the Department of Health and Human Services. Transracial adoptions are a beautiful way to start or grow… Read More
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How to Talk About Birth Parents
There comes a time in every adopted child’s life when they want to know more about where they came from – specifically about their biological or birth parents. “It is natural that they should want to know about them, who… Read More
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Talking to Your Child about Adoption
One of the questions on every adoptive parent’s mind is how do I talk to my child about adoption? It can be a difficult conversation to start, but it is an incredibly important conversation to have. “Today’s adoptive parents face… Read More
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Another Five Common Questions Birth Mothers Ask About Adoption
An unplanned pregnancy can be tough for a birth mother, with hundreds of questions running through her mind at any given time. And some of them may be centered around one topic in particular – adoption. In our last blog… Read More
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Same-Sex Adoption
Today, 19 percent of same-sex couples raising children have at least one adopted child, writes Asher Fogle, Good Housekeeping. This is up from just 8 percent in 2000. Same-sex adoption is on the rise, but there are still numerous hurdles… Read More
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Maintaining a Strong Relationship with Your Spouse or Partner
Growing your family can be a stressful time for you and your spouse or partner. Shifting schedules, a lack of sleep, and increased responsibilities can be taxing even on the healthiest of relationships. And adoption is no different. “No doubt… Read More