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Adoptive Parents: Tips for Creating a Realistic Adoption Profile and Birth Parent Book

Adoption ProfileThe decision to adopt can be a very exciting moment. It’s the first step in your journey to bring a new child into your home. There may be challenges along the way, however, you should remember that you are never alone. Adoption Makes Family is here to help you every step of the way, especially when it comes to creating a realistic adoption profile and birth parent book.

Creating an Adoption Profile

The adoption profile is what an adoptive parent submits to the agency delineating the birth mother situations for which they are willing to match. This is also where many adoptive parents will state their expectations for birth parents – for lack of a better word, their restrictions. However, at times, these expectations can be unrealistic, says Dean Kirschner, Ph.D., LCSW-C, Adoption Makes Family.

“People are putting that they will not accept birth mothers who have smoked cigarettes, they want birth mothers who have no history of mental illness, or they are putting that they will not accept a birth mother who has used marijuana,” says Dr. Kirschner.

When creating your adoption profile, it is important to develop more realistic expectations of what a young woman may have experienced in her life. Remember, it is important to keep an open mind about certain situations. The important thing is that the birth mother refrains from such activities after she has learned she is pregnant.

Creating a Birth Parent Book

After completing your home study, the next step – and one of the most fun and exciting – is to create a Birth Parent Book.

“Your [birth parent book] is the most important marketing tool you have to connect with an expectant mother who is facing an unplanned pregnancy and considering adoption for her baby,” says Russell Elkins, America Adopts.

This book is about you and your family and is what will be shared with birth parents during the matching and placement phase.

Tips When Creating a Birth Parent Book

“With so many [books] on display online and elsewhere, how do you make yours stand out? “ asks Elkins. “You need to do everything you can to make sure that your profile grabs the attention of an expectant mother right away and holds it.”

    1. Be Authentic: “Be authentic,” write Susan Caughman and Isolde Motley, Adoptive Families. “If an expectant mother chooses you, you may be spending plenty of time together over the next months. If your first letters weren’t truthful, she will find out, and may be put off.”
    2. Make it Eye Catching: “You can be the most amazing couple in the world, ready to give a child the most amazing home, and a perfect match for any birth parent out there, but if your [book] doesn’t catch the attention of people looking through the profiles, you’re going to have a really difficult time getting chosen,” says Elkins.
    3. Use Humor and be Unique: “Include an amusing anecdote or funny photo that shows that humor is one way you deal with life,” write Caughman and Motley. This will help set you apart from the crowd.
    4. Don’t be Too Formal: Your birth parent book is not a resume, says Alkins. “It’s not meant to be lists of things that qualify you to be adoptive parents. There are ways of presenting yourself, being able to convey all of your wonderful qualities without making your letter like a boring list or resume.”
    5. Include Photos: “Photos are essential,” says Elkins. “In fact, if you haven’t done your photos right, the quality of your profile letter probably won’t even matter. A profile letter takes time and effort to read, but photos don’t.” People tend to be very visual, so show them what your family is really like.

Have Questions?

Adoption Makes Family is here for you. We are a non-profit (501-C3) licensed adoption agency based in Maryland founded to meet the needs of birth parents and adoptive parents in a manner that is sensitive, compassionate, and personal. Our experienced professionals can help walk you through the process and answer any questions you may have.

Call Us Now at (410) 683-2100

If you have any questions, you can contact us by phone at 410-683-2100, by e-mail at or use our online contact form.


  1. Caughman, Susan, and Isolde Motley. “Tips for Creating Your Adoption Profile, from Birth Mothers.” Adoptive Families, 14 Mar. 2017,
  2. Elkins, Russell. “Creating A Successful Adoption Profile: What Adoptive Parents Need To Know.” America Adopts, 12 July 2013,
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