Many birth mothers have the same question – Will I get to see my baby at the hospital? And the answer is…that is entirely up to you, the birth mother. When creating your adoption plan, you have the ability to decide on a variety of considerations, including your hospital stay.
Things to Consider in Your Adoption Plan
Contact with Adoptive Parents
As the mother, you are in complete control of your own birth plan. This includes your contact with the adoptive parents before, during, and after the birth. While it is not uncommon for adoptive parents to be present during the birth, it is ultimately your decision. If you would rather keep this experience private, that is your decision and nobody else’s.
Contact with Your Child
One of the toughest decisions a birth mother has to make – aside from creating an adoption plan – is whether or not they want to see their baby at the hospital.
“A lot of birth mothers decide not to see their baby after delivery because they are trying to protect their hearts,” says one adoption professional. “They know themselves and feel certain that if they do see their baby, it will be much more difficult to place their baby for adoption if they hold the baby.”
For many, the decision comes down to the type of adoption. If a parent has chosen a closed adoption, meaning no future contact with the child, sometimes it is easier to choose not to see the child after birth. However, if you’ve chosen an open adoption, it is often nice to spend one-on-one time with the child before placement.
But the decision is yours and yours alone. You should do what YOU feel is best.
Some of this depends on the hospital itself and the type of delivery you’ve had – vaginal birth or c-section. Vaginal births typically mean a shorter recovery time. C-sections are invasive surgeries and, therefore, require longer hospital stays. However, the rest of the details of your stay are within your control, such as:
- Delivery Room: “Some birth mothers want to be alone before, during, and after labor and delivery, especially if very few (or no) people know about their pregnancy,” explains one adoption professional. “On the other hand, some birth moms we’ve worked with have had many people in the room.” Ultimately, it is up to you. As we mentioned before, you can choose to include the adoptive parents or you can choose to keep the birth private. You can also decide if you want people like the birth father, your parents, or close friends in the room as well. Though, it is important to note that many hospitals restrict the number of people in the room. So, it is important to contact the hospital when determining who will be in the delivery room with you.
- Visitors: Will you allow friends and family to meet your baby before placement occurs? Again, this can ultimately come down to your future plans – open vs closed adoption.
- Maternity Ward: Do you want to be placed in the maternity ward after delivery?
- Discharge: “The baby’s discharge plan should be discussed well before the due date,” explains adoption attorney Peter J. Wiernicki, Esq. “The plan will involve a number of factors, including the wishes of the involved parties, hospital policy, and state law.” Many birth mothers choose not to carry the baby out of the hospital, opting to have the baby discharged directly to the adoptive parents when allowed. “If the hospital insists on releasing the baby to the birth mother, you may be able to reach a compromise whereby a third party, such as a relative, an attorney, or an agency social worker, takes custody,” says Wiernicki.
Creating Your Adoption Plan
Adoption Makes Family is here for you. We are a non-profit (501-C3) licensed adoption agency based in Maryland founded to meet the needs of birth parents and adoptive parents in a manner that is sensitive, compassionate, and personal. Our experienced professionals can help walk you through the process and answer any questions you may have.
Call Us Now at (410) 683-2100
If you have any questions, you can contact us by phone at 410-683-2100, by e-mail at firstname.lastname@example.org or use our online contact form.
- “What Do I Decide About My Hospital Stay?” Adoption Network, Adoption Network Law Center – Safer Than Adoption Agencies, adoptionnetwork.com/what-do-i-get-to-decide-about-my-hospital-stay.
- Wiernicki, Peter. “The Hospital Adoption Process – What You Need to Know.” Adoptive Families, 16 Oct. 2017, www.adoptivefamilies.com/adoption-process/hospital-adoption-process-need-to-know/.
- “Will I Be Able to See My Baby in the Hospital?” Will I Be Able to See My Baby in the Hospital? | AAA Partners in Adoption, www.partnersinadoption.org/i-am-pregnant/the-adoption-process/will-i-be-able-to-see-my-baby-in-the-hospital/.