Many birth parents see adoption as the very last resort. It is something that they would choose to do after every other avenue has been exhausted. In many ways, an adoption is viewed as giving up. It’s even embedded in how we talk about putting a child up for adoption. Children are “given up” or “put up” for adoption. Many birth parents see this as a defeat, when it should be seen as giving your child a better opportunity. There are many reasons to create an adoption plan, none of which have to do with defeat.
How can you decide if you should create an adoption plan? Ultimately the decision is based on your situation and what you feel you are ready to handle. Here are some of the reasons that you might consider an adoption:
1. No social support – When raising a child, there is almost nothing more important than having support from people that you trust. This could be a network of family or a network of close friends that step in and play the role of family. The old adage that it “takes a village” to raise a child is the truth. If your family is not around or is not willing to support you and you have no other social support, you might find it impossible to offer your child their attention that they really deserve. Even if both birth parents are willing to stick together, there may still not be enough outside support to make both comfortable with the idea of keeping the child.
2. No financial stability – While money should not be the primary reason you give a child up for adoption, it is difficult to ignore that not being able to financially support a child is often part of the decision. Children require a great deal of money. From diapers to clothes to food to schooling, there are a range of different expenses. Often, if you have the right social support, you do not need to worry about the money. However, if you do not have financial stability and have no way to achieve financial stability, having the child adopted by a family who has the resources to give them everything they need, might be the better option.
3. No ability to give him the life he deserves – You might simply see no future in which you are able to give that baby the life that you believe he deserves. If this is the truth in your case, it is worth your time to consider adoption. When you work with an adoption agency, you can review several applications and profiles and even talk to the potential parents before making any decisions. This will give you the option to place the child with a family that will be able to give him a life that might have been beyond your grasp.
4. Adoptions are different now – In the past, if you put a child up for adoption, the birth parents would likely never see that child again. Now, there are adoption options that allow you to still be a part of that child’s life. What type of adoption you ultimately choose will come down to your situation and the agreement that you make with the family that adopts the child. It is important to note that just because you create an adoption plan, does not mean you will never see your child again.