If you are dealing with an unplanned pregnancy, you are undoubtedly experiencing a range of emotions. But it is important to know you are not alone. Every year in the United States, about half of all pregnancies are unplanned. And by age 45, more than half of all American women have experienced an unintended pregnancy.
There are numerous resources available to help you cope with your current situation and plan for your and your baby’s futures.
Dealing With Your Emotions
“It doesn’t make you a bad mother to have conflicted feelings,” says psychologist Lara Honos-Webb, Ph.D., A.D.H.D. It is completely normal to be nervous, scared, overwhelmed, or even angry at the situation.
“It’s normal and healthy to allow yourself to feel this,” says clinical psychologist Shoshana Bennett, PhD. “Anger and shock could be something you’re feeling, and that’s perfectly fine to feel that way.”
You shouldn’t feel guilty about your negative feelings, but you should talk to someone and explore your feelings further. “It isn’t something you wrap your head around overnight,” says Ann Douglas, author of The Mother of All Pregnancy Books. “You need to actively work through what you’re feeling.”
Adoption Makes Family is here to listen, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. We are a non-profit (501-C3) licensed adoption agency based in Maryland. Our experienced professionals can help and counsel you so that you make the best decisions for your future. We simply want what is best for you and your baby, whatever outcome that may be.
Call Us Now at (410) 683-2100
Determining Your Immediate and Future Needs
A pregnancy, even an unplanned pregnancy, is not the end of the world. “Take the time to consider what changes you can make,” says Lisa Cooper of Babble, “while still aiming for other life goals.” Consider all of your options and how each of those choices will affect your life both now and in the future.
“After thinking it through and determining the pros and cons of all options, women should succeed at wrapping their minds around the subject and shape a decision that’s most convenient for them,” says Elizabeth Danish, HealthGuidance.
While your pregnancy wasn’t planned, everything you do from here on out should be.
Developing a Support System
“I think one of the biggest reasons people fear unplanned pregnancy is that so often, it is associated with mothers who don’t have a lot of support, whether that be financial or in the form of a supportive partner,” says Chaunie Brusie, RN, BSN.
Who makes up your support system? Your partner, parents, grandparents, siblings, friends, neighbors, and even healthcare professionals, local support groups, and adoption counselors can play a role. It is up to you to determine who you let into your inner circle. The important thing is that you have support.
“Unexpected pregnancies are not events that should be dealt with alone,” says Danish. “Women should share their thoughts on this experience and surround themselves with a supportive group of people.”
Everyone’s support system looks different. The important thing is to surround yourself with positive people who will actively help you throughout your journey – whatever that may look like.
Educating Yourself
Knowledge is power.
“Being informed is the only healthy way of acting once women find out about their pregnancy,” says Danish. Talk with your family doctor and evaluate each option. What makes sense for you both emotionally and physically? You can also do your own research. There are plenty of resources available online, including our Birth Parent Resource Guide, designed to answer many of your questions.
If you determine that adoption is the right option for you, the next step is to create an adoption plan.
Making an Adoption Plan
The professionals at Adoption Makes Family have many years of experience in adoption services, and will walk you through every step of the adoption process, helping you make the best decisions for both you and your baby. There are many factors to consider:
Do you want an open adoption or a closed adoption?
What type of adoptive family do you want for your child?
Do you want to meet prospective adoptive parents?
Adoption Makes Family can help you answer these questions in a nonjudgmental way.
If you have any questions, you can contact us by phone at 410-683-2100, by e-mail at dr.kirschner@adoptionmakesfamily.org or use our online contact form.
Adoption Makes Family was founded to meet the needs of birth parents and adoptive parents in a manner that is sensitive, compassionate, and personal.
Sources
- Brusie, Chaunie . “6 Ways To Cope With an Unplanned Pregnancy.” Every Day Family, www.everydayfamily.com/slideshow/6-ways-cope-unplanned-pregnancy/.
- Cooper, Lisa. “Coping With an Unplanned Pregnancy.” Babble, Babble, 23 Sept. 2014, www.babble.com/pregnancy/coping-unplanned-pregnancy/.
- Danish, Elizabeth. “Tips for Coping With an Unplanned Pregnancy.” HealthGuidance.org, www.healthguidance.org/entry/15029/1/Tips-for-Coping-With-an-Unplanned-Pregnancy.html
- “The Unintended Pregnancy.” Fit Pregnancy and Baby, 3 Apr. 2017, www.fitpregnancy.com/pregnancy/sex-relationships/unintended-pregnancy.
- Yang, Sarah. “How To Deal With A Surprise Pregnancy.” How to Deal With a Surprise Pregnancy, The Bump, 19 Aug. 2014, www.thebump.com/a/how-to-deal-with-surprise-pregnancy.