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The Truth About Adoption: Myths vs Reality

Mother and Father standing over two children, creating an arch by joining their hands.Adoption is a complex topic and not one many fully understand. Our goal in this article is to explore some of the common misconceptions surrounding adoption and show how this selfless act is one of the most beautiful and caring ways to create a family.

Myth: Adoption Agencies Steal Babies from Birth Mothers

There is this idea that adoption agencies are chasing birth mothers to coerce them to choose adoption.

“Laws in America have multiple safeguards to ensure that a birth mother cannot be coerced or bribed into placing her child for adoption,” write Isolde Motley and Susan Caughman, Adoptive Families.

Reality: Adoption Agencies Support Birth Mothers

“Adoption agencies are not chasing babies.” says Dean Kirschner, Ph.D., LCSW-C, Adoption Makes Family. While there may be some adoption agencies that illegally operate this way, “this is not Adoption Makes Family.”

Good agencies, reputable agencies, like Adoption Makes Family are here to support the wishes of the birth mother. When a birth mother comes to Adoption Makes Family, we do everything in our power to support them and help them make the right decision for them and their baby. Our adoption counselors do not push adoption on the birth mother. Instead, we help them explore their feelings and walk through their options – all options.

If the birth mother chooses adoption, we provide counseling services throughout the process, including post-placement.

Myth: Adoption is a Selfish Choice

Many people believe adoption to be a selfish choice by the birth mother, choosing her well-being above the child’s. However, in most cases, this could not be further from the truth.

Reality: Adoption is a Selfless Act

Most birth mothers choose adoption not because they do not love their child, but because they love them so much they put their child’s well-being above their own.

“These women are wonderful people who put their child’s love above everything,” says Dr. Kirschner.

Just as Moses’s mother placed him in a basket and set him adrift in the Nile river to protect him, birth mothers today choose adoption in order to provide their child a better life – a life they could not provide themselves.

“Most birth mothers are women in their twenties making a well-thought-out choice to give their child a life that they cannot themselves can provide,” write Motley and Caughman.

Myth: After Adoption, Adoption Agencies Don’t Care

People often think of adoption agencies as these emotionless baby-grabbing machines.

Reality: Adoption Agencies Aim to Create Loving Families

The truth is that most adoption agencies really do care. They want to create beautiful unions and provide loving homes for children. The goal of many adoption agencies, like Adoption Makes Family, is not to just get as many babies as possible, but rather to support all parties involved to create loving unities that include everyone, birth parents, adoptive parents, and child.

“For the people that have had negative adoption experiences, I am truly sorry,” says Dr. Kirschner. “But that is not Adoption Makes Family.”

Adoption Makes Family was founded to meet the needs of both birth parents and adoptive parents in a manner that is sensitive, compassionate, and personal. Our staff puts people before the process to ensure every adoption plan is customized to the individual family’s situation and needs. Our highly trained staff is prepared to meet the needs of birth parents and adoptive parents, as well as children in need of a loving home. We are dedicated to providing personal and professional adoption services.

The end result is a loving family that is a combination of birth parents, adoptive parents, and child. We aim to create open adoptions that are mutually beneficial for all parties involved.

“Recent long-term studies of adoptees in America show that they are no different in emotional health, psychological well-being, self-esteem, and attachment to family as children raised by their biological parents,” write Motley and Caughman. “Most adoptions end in joy, triumph, and love.”

If you have any questions, you can contact us by phone at 410-683-2100, by e-mail at dr.kirschner@adoptionmakesfamily.org or use our online contact form.

This entry was posted on Friday, February 22nd, 2019 at 10:42 am . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

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