No one said adoption was easy. In fact, quite the opposite is true. Choosing to create an adoption plan is one of the toughest decisions a mother will ever have to make. So, it should come as no surprise that many struggle coping with life after adoption (post placement). According to a national survey conducted by the On Your Feet Foundation, “75 percent of the women surveyed reported that their emotional health was very poor, poor, or neutral in the first year after placement.”
Coping with Life After Adoption
How to Combat Poor Emotional Health After Placement
“With every adoption and every union, there is also loss, a biological parent being separated from their child,” explains Felicia Curcuru, Huffington Post. This must be addressed both before and after placement to help the birth mother cope with her loss. And the best way to do this is through Adoption Counseling.
“Only support and the respectful acknowledgment of their choices and their emotions can help birth parents grieve in a healthy manner and, with time, allow for their healing and reconciliation of the adoption as a part of their life story,” explain Chuck Johnson, president and CEO of the National Council For Adoption, and Kris Faasse, LMSW, ACSW, Director of Adoption Services for Bethany Christian Services.
A Birth Mother’s Counseling Costs Are Covered in Maryland
In 2013 in the state of Maryland, Governor Martin O’Malley signed into law House Bill 563, which has helped numerous pregnant women in Maryland by allowing adoptive families to help cover certain expenses, including reasonable charge or fee for adoption counseling.
“Often, legal and medical expenses are paid AFTER the revocation period expires to prevent families paying for expenses and losing the opportunity to adopt the baby,” says Dean Kirschner, Ph.D., LCSW-C.
Pre-Adoption Counseling
“Adoption is not just scary, counseling is provided because birth mothers can feel overwhelmed with the choices and decisions associated with adoption,” says Dr. Kirschner. “Counseling may help a birth mother/birth father understand the various options associated with choices of parenting or creating an adoption plan.” This enables birth mothers to make decisions in an informed manner, after personal reflection, with all the facts and options on the table.
Adoption Makes Family is here to listen, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. We are a non-profit (501-C3) licensed adoption agency based in Maryland. Adoption counseling begins the moment you reach out to our office for an initial consultation. Our experienced professionals simply want what is best for you and your baby, whatever outcome that may be.
Call Us Now at (410) 683-2100
According to Johnson and Faasse, birth mothers tend to report a “high level of satisfaction with their choice to make an adoption plan” after receiving the “professional counseling and support needed in order to reach a fully informed decision.”
Post-Placement Adoption
“It is not uncommon for women to feel that, once they leave the hospital, they are left to fend for themselves,” write Susan Dusza Guerra Leksander, Susan Romer and Diane Landino in their article “What Is Life Like for Birth Mothers After Placement?” This is why Johnson and Faasse emphasize that counseling is necessary not just prior to placement, but after placement, as well.
“Good counseling provides a crucial foundation for birthmothers in dealing with their emotions and moving forward,” write Johnson and Faasse, “throughout the process until relinquishment, and after placement as they undertake the necessary work to grieve and to heal.”
When working with a local Maryland adoption agency, like Adoption Makes Family, we are involved in the process from the first phone call to the adoption and beyond. This means you are able to meet your adoption counselor in person and maintain consistent face-to-face meetings or counseling sessions before and after placement. This type of intimate relationship is not available when working with a large national agency.
Coping with life ater adoption can be hard. If you have any questions, you can contact us by phone at 410-683-2100, by e-mail at dr.kirschner@adoptionmakesfamily.org or use our online contact form.
Sources
- “Child Welfare Information Gateway.” Aug. 2013.
- Curcuru, Felicia. “How Do Women Feel After Placing Their Baby For Adoption?” The Huffington Post, TheHuffingtonPost.com, 7 Dec. 2017, www.huffingtonpost.com/felicia-curcuru/how-do-women-feel-after-placing-their-baby-for-adoption_b_8287800.html.
- “Do Mothers Get Paid for Adoption in MD?” American Adoptions — America’s Adoption Agency, www.americanadoptions.com/state_adoption/get-paid-for-adoption-maryland?article_id=4972&sitemedia=full.
- Dusza Guerra Leksander, Susan, et al. “Supporting Birth Mothers: Before, During, and After Adoption.” Adoptive Families, 15 July 2016, www.adoptivefamilies.com/openness/birth-mother-support-on-your-feet-foundation-study
- “Effects of Adoption on Birth Mother.” Adoption Network, adoptionnetwork.com/emotional-and-psychological-effects-of-adoption-on-birth-mother.
- Johnson, Chuck , and Kris Faasse. “Adoption Advocate.” Mar. 2012.
- Merrill, Annaleece. “Confession: I Feel Guilty For Placing My Daughter For Adoption.” Adoption.com, adoption.com/confession-i-feel-guilty-for-placing-my-daughter-for-adoption.
- Patricelli, Kathryn. “Long-Term Issues For Birthmothers After Adoption.” Mental Help James Marcia and SelfIdentity Comments, www.mentalhelp.net/articles/long-term-issues-for-birthmothers-after-adoption/.